Back again...

I've had various blogs over the last 10 years, and each has served as a creative outlet.  They've explored different topics and had different focuses, and I've found a balance with each. 

I'm still trying to figure out that balance with this blog.

How much do I reveal about myself?  What topics do I explore?  Running, weight loss, sure.  But how much of the rest of my life to I let leak into my posts? 

In the past I've probably erred on the side of revealing too much.  Letting personal drama play too much of a centrist role makes for juicy reading, but it also has real life consequences.

In general I'm a pretty withdrawn and private person...until I know someone well enough to trust them.  Then it seems like I reverse myself and over-share.  Clearly I have boundary issues, but like everything I do I have to make it complicated and have issues on both sides of the plate.

So I'm blaming my sporadic posts on that.

It's my story and I'm sticking to it.

While I've been away several notable things have happened.

First, the good:

• My weight has dropped into the 220s.  It's probably been 10 years, or more since I've been in the 220s.

•  I had my first run at sub-9 minute pace.  I really have no idea how long it's been since I've been about to run continuously at that pace.  High school is the last time I know for sure...

And, the bad:

I tweaked my knee. 

I'm not sure how, or exactly what I hurt anatomically, but I have flashes of sharp pain in my right knee.  There doesn't seem to be a particular motion that causes it.  There doesn't really seem to be a rhyme or reason as to why or when it hurts.  It's been swollen and stiff at times, but anti-inflammatory meds don't seem to help.  With my medical background if I had to make an educated guess, I'd say probably there's a small fragment of meniscus cartilage floating around in there causing problems. 

I took several days off to rest it, and today was my first day back running.  I had a couple of tense moments at the start of my run, but then it settled down and hasn't hurt since. 

Regardless, I think I may be pushing too hard to go further, and faster all the time.  And so to push back at some of the stressors putting pressure on me, I'm scaling back my race expectations.  I was pushing to run a 10k in just 2 weeks, and a half in March 2014. 

Right now I'm putting off the 10k for sure.  I'm almost certain I could run the race, and finish. 

But at what cost? 

To date I've never run 10 kilometers.  And I'm just not comfortable with the race being my first time to conquer that distance.  Maybe that's the way I'll have to approach a marathon, but for a distance as relatively short as 10k, I want to have several runs at least that long under my belt before I step onto a race course. 

I guess I just want to be in control of my race.  No matter the preparation, there's always the possibility of having a bad day and running a terrible race.  I want to step to the starting line with the confidence of knowing that the distance is well within my reach.

What does that mean for my planned half marathon in March?  I don't know.  I'll just have to see how I feel as it approaches.

The drama:

And here's the part where I possibly stray out of bounds for this blog.

My wife and I planned on selling our house and moving this coming summer.  After contacting a realtor to get some advice on improvements to help get the house ready for sale, we actually sold our house, without it ever being on the market. 

We closed on the sale 3 weeks later. 

Now the new owner is allowing us to stay in the house until we find a home of our own--a very generous arrangement.  However the inventory of homes for sale in our desired neighborhoods is ridiculously low right now.  Like 2 or 3 potential homes on the market. 

That's it. 

Somehow through all of this we decided that if there wasn't a perfect house out there for us, we should just build one.  (Because it's every just that easy.)

Facepalm.

The neighborhood we moved into in 2005 has unfortunately bottomed out.  For example, when we moved here, my oldest daughter was in first grade, and the elementary school was rated as exemplary by the state authorities. 

Flash forward 8 years and my middle daughter is now a first grader at the same school.  Unfortunately the school is now a Title I school. That in and of itself isn't a bad thing, except that the entire school seems to be proud of that status.  Instead of expecting the students to perform at exemplary levels, they instead insist on giving students an out and an excuse for not performing well.  Instead of simply taking the extra money and creating programs to enrich the academic experience of the kids (like the program is designed) the administration seems intent on using the money to tell the kids they aren't as good as other kids in the district and require extra help to perform as well.  In my (often jaded) opinion, if you tell kids something enough, they start to believe it.

Either way, it's time to get my kids somewhere that is intent on challenging them. 

So that's what I've been up to lately.  :-)

Shoe fly, shoe!

Much to my wife's chagrin, I added another pair of shoes to the stable--a pair of Mizuno Wave Inspire 9s.  I had gotten the Brooks Adrenalines as my go-to pair, and my Brooks Pure Cadences for speed work and intervals.  However, I find myself spending a disproportionate amount of time in the Adrenalines.

At this point, I'm not sure I want to push things with the Cadences--they are more of a minimalist shoe, and designed for midfoot strike.  I've heard and heeded the warnings of both minimalist and non-minimalist proponents:  If you're going to transition, do it slowly.

Very slowly.

I have been 100% pain free using the Cadences, both while wearing them and in the days immediately post run.  But given the fact that I'm still dramatically increasing my mileage and my paces, I just don't want to chance it.  So far, one workout a week (I'm running 5 days pretty consistently now) has proven to be just enough.  I love the feeling of wearing a different shoe.  And I can feel my pulse quicken when I lace up in them, because I know they are for running fast, and I'll soon be in the midst of a blistering intervals workout. I do notice my legs are tired in different places after my Cadence workouts.

It's a great feeling.

Anyway, all that to say that I thought another go-to pair would be a good idea for the rest of my runs.  This way I can rotate between the Inspires and the Adrenalines and potentially eliminate any overuse injuries from running on the exact same platform all the time.

I read lots of reviews from lots of different sources, but I couldn't find a place locally that had my 14s in stock.  So I took a chance--and I'm thankful that after trying them on for the first time today they feel perfect.  Haven't run much in them yet, but the heel grips my heel, the laces snug them down on my midfoot, and the toe box is nice and roomy.  Looking forward to putting some miles in in them. 

And just look at them.  I'm crushing on that blue and yellow scheme.

Another exciting and proud-papa moment is when my 7 year old daughter came home from school and announced she wanted to be part of the running club.

After making sure she knew what running actually entails, I set about finding her a good pair of shoes.  The poor girl is cursed, unlucky, blessed with my long and narrow feet.  So it only stands to reason that the same shoe would fit her needs.

Introducing her very cool purple Brooks Adrenalines For Kids.

Too bad the first day of Running Club she was promptly informed that 1st graders weren't allowed.  Only 2-4th graders.  She was devastated, and we were a little miffed we'd spent the money on these shoes for her.  But what can you do?  Public school will be public school--nobody every claimed it all made sense.

Hour to Hour

It's funny the ups and downs we experience just within a few hours.

Yesterday I ran a 5K in under 30 minutes for the first time.  3.13 miles in 30:00, a 9:35 pace.  It was a great feeling.

And hour and a half later I was reading a rejection letter from TCU's Nurse Anesthesia program. 

It's only been the focus of my life since August 2008.  So no, not really a big deal.

I don't know what else to say about that right now.

Back at work today feeling extremely trapped and demoralized.  This job is now a stepping stone to...well I don't know anymore.

Hope you're having a better day than me.

Interview

As alluded to in previous posts, I interviewed for the Nurse Anesthesia program at TCU yesterday.

I'm happy to report I feel like the interview went very well.  I was nervous to be sure, but conversation was light, and words flowed easily.  I felt at ease enough to take the time to consider each of the questions and answer thoughtfully.  Rapport with the interviewers was excellent and they were easy to talk with.

In comparing notes with other interviewees on a post-interview tour of the facilities I discovered I received no questions of a clinical nature.  Each of the other interviewees had at least one clinical question designed to test the breadth of their knowledge from each panel interview.  The questions I  heard weren't terribly difficult, but definitely would require solid clinical experience to answer.  In my mind, the fact that I didn't get any clinical questions could come from two possibilities.  A.)  They didn't think I was worth the effort--which I think I can rule out based on the fact that I am (on paper at least) well qualified for admission.  B.)  They were satisfied with the clinical experience I bring to the table.  (I'm hoping it's this one).  Or, I suppose C.)  I dazzled them with my rugged good looks and charming personality and distracted them from asking the clinical questions.  The Magic 8-ball doesn't seem to agree with answer C. though.

My every interaction with TCU has been fabulous.  They are a wonderful CRNA program with the backing of a great institution.  Not to mention every single person I've met from the program is so nice!  Plus I came home with a TCU umbrella, two Horned Frog keychains, a TCU pencil for my daughter (who has a pencil collection), and two nurse anesthesia stickers.  How is it an interview where I'm supposed to be selling me to them has better swag than the last 5k that I paid to run in!?  If I get in, I'm so there.

Before my interview yesterday afternoon, I headed to the gym for an easy recovery run to clear my head.  I did about 2 miles at an easy pace.  The first two thirds of the run I treated as a progression run--starting slow and then progressively getting faster every few minutes.   The last third I forced myself to decrease the pace incrementally until I reached my original pace for the last couple of minutes.  An exercise in self-control, but a perfect low stress workout pre-interview.

I had set a weight-loss goal of 240 lbs even by my interview date.  The day before the interview I weighed in at 240.4.  So while I didn't make my number (ssssooooo close!!) I'm counting it as a win.  Because 37.4 lbs gone is a win no matter what.

Regardless, if I did well enough in the interview I should be receiving an acceptance letter via e-mail Monday or Tuesday. 

I may or may not be holding my breath until then...